Perfection
by tromana
Summary: Her life is perfect, to those on the outside anyway. But why isn’t Lisbon happy? Jane/Lisbon
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Perfection  
**Author:** tromana  
**Rating: **T  
**Characters: **Lisbon/Jane, Team  
**Spoilers:** Up to and including 1.23 Red John's Footsteps  
**Summary: **Her life is perfect, to those on the outside anyway. But why isn't Lisbon happy? Jane/Lisbon  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Mentalist. If I did, well…  
**Notes:** AU and/or Future fic. Call it what you will.

**Perfection**

**Part One**

For an overwhelmingly long while, Lisbon believed that the best day of her life was the day she joined the California Bureau of Investigation. This was closely followed by the day she got promoted to lead Agent of the Serious Crimes Unit. For the majority of her life, she had been a slave to her career, always focussing on the next step up on the ladder. Ensuring that absolutely everything was done to the best of her ability. She kind of forgot she even had the need for a social life.

That was until Patrick Jane shambled into the bullpen on a sodden Monday morning. Minelli announced to her and the rest of her team that he would be joining them full time in the position of a consultant. Lisbon had heard of Jane, they all had, and was quite bemused as to why a psychic was joining the CBI. At that point, she didn't know whether to be furious with Minelli for foisting the charlatan upon her team or to just accept that he was actually quite pretty to look at. For a long while, she decided that anger was the best route to take.

It was three years, two months and seventeen days after she had first met Jane when he first plucked up the courage to kiss Lisbon. Not that she had been counting or anything. He admitted that whilst he'd never be truly over his first wife, he was willing to give it a try if she was. That day easily became one of those 'top five moments'. Despite the fact that both were worried about Red John, a threat that could easily be breathing down both their necks, the relationship progressed. They had their stumbling blocks, like any couple. Jane, after all, was learning to love again whilst Lisbon was simply learning to love.

She had cried the day he went down on bended knee, with a simple diamond ring clasped earnestly in his hand. It was six months after they had finally apprehended Red John by legal means, of course, when he had finally felt ready to ask for her hand in marriage. He couldn't quite believe it when she had said yes, and she was still in shock that he had even asked at all. Lisbon knew she would never be able to replace his first wife, but she had hoped that at the very least she could make him happy again.

The wedding was quiet, simple and in Lisbon's opinion, just about perfect. Minelli had agreed to give her away. Ever since she had joined the CBI, something which felt like an age ago, he had almost seen her as a daughter. Minelli had only been mildly surprised when she announced her engagement to Jane, and request to be transferred to another department. He'd laughed at her affectionately and said that as long as they kept it out of the office as much as possible, he would be willing to turn a blind eye. All of the team, her family of sorts, shed several tears as Lisbon finally realised she could have a 'best day of her life' which was not work related.

Three months after their honeymoon, Lisbon found herself in her office, fretting. Not over the fact that Rigsby and Van Pelt had finally managed to ask her if she wouldn't mind them dating. Of course, she was fine with it. She had been waiting for years for them to finally get their act into gear; even longer than her and Jane's romance to date. The position on office romances had changed significantly, after all. What concerned her was that this revelation was something that hadn't discussed with her new husband.

Eventually, she popped a tentative head around her office door. She wasn't sure if she was actually ready to tell him or not, but it was better than sitting alone in her office procrastinating.

"Guys? Have any of you seen Jane?"

"He said he had to go out for something, boss," Cho supplied.

She nodded and returned back to her desk for more shredding of tissues. Obviously her discovery had given her a relatively unusual nervous twitch. When Jane appeared at her door, beaming, she jumped. Lisbon couldn't help but smile slightly as he brought out a bunch of roses from behind his back.

"Jane, we're meant to keep it out of the office," she sighed, but took the flowers anyway.

He pouted. "So I can't surprise my wife with a bunch of flowers in the workplace?"

"You shouldn't."

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing."

She didn't know why she even bothered lying. He caught her out almost every single time. True to form, he sat down in front of her and repeated his question again. If he really wanted to, she was fairly certain he could have told her exactly what was on her mind. Lisbon was relieved; Jane had quickly learned to respect her boundaries in their relationship, even if he was constantly pushing them. He sighed as she continued to refuse to answer, still not quite sure how to phrase it. If only they had considered discussing it before they had married.

"Teresa, just tell me."

"We're having a baby," she mouthed. "I'm pregnant."

**TBC...**

**A/N:** Fluffy? I think so. Won't continue in this vein, I'm afraid...


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

Jane smiled as he stroked the soft cheek of the sleeping newborn. He still couldn't quite believe that five months ago, he had been sitting at work with his wife when she had broken the news that they were expecting. Lisbon had looked so terrified, like he would react badly or something. Like he would blame her for the pregnancy, when quite obviously it always took two to tango. Besides, a baby was something special, not to be frowned upon. And he already treasured his new daughter as much as he treasured his first. She couldn't replace that little girl, but she was her half-sister, but she had already carved her own special niche into his heart.

Lisbon was sleeping too, obviously exhausted. She had never took well to the pregnancy and he had a sneaking suspicion that she was glad it was all over. He knew it had been hard for her; she was a woman so focussed on her career she had nearly excluded everything else out. Jane had almost found it funny just how frustrated she had become at not being able to do absolutely everything her job usually entailed. Her desperation for coffee had almost been endearing, too. And she had loathed the way people expected that just because she was pregnant, she wouldn't mind them touching her bloated belly.

There was a knock at the door. Jane beamed and ushered in Van Pelt, Rigsby and Minelli, urging them to be quiet. He didn't want his two girls to be disturbed, despite the fact he wanted to play the proud father. They crammed into the small room, all beaming with gifts of flowers, cuddly toys and other paraphernalia. Rigsby explained in a hushed breath that Cho was holding fort back at the office, but they all couldn't wait that long to meet the new arrival.

"She's so beautiful," Van Pelt sighed, "what's her name."

"Caitlyn," Jane murmured in response, "Caitlyn Elisabeth Jane."

"Congratulations, mate," Rigsby announced.

Lisbon stirred slightly and all eyes trained on her. As she came around fully, she was only mildly surprised to see a room full of CBI Agents, all beaming excitedly at her. She let out a breath, slowly and carefully. This was absolutely not what she wanted right now. She was still tired and sore. And ever so slightly freaked out at the idea of being a mother; that the little person in the crib at the end of her bed was entirely reliant on her and Jane.

"Hey," she muttered, whilst scrambling to a sitting position. She suddenly became very conscious of just what a mess she looked. "Thanks for coming."

"We just couldn't wait." Van Pelt was practically exploding with excitement. "She's gorgeous, boss. Absolutely gorgeous."

After more rushed congratulations, baby Caitlyn began to wail a little. Jane gently picked her up and handed her to a petrified looking Lisbon. He whispered to her comfortingly, ensuring that she would be alright alone for a few moments and that she wouldn't hurt Caitlyn. The others took this as the sign to leave and Jane bid them farewell in the hallway. He did, however stop Minelli for a few extra words whilst Van Pelt and Rigsby disappeared around the corner.

"Boss? Teresa and I, we were wondering if you could be a surrogate grandfather of sorts to Caitlyn?" Jane queried, "after all, our parents are dead and I wouldn't want her to miss out."

"Jane, I'd be honoured," Minelli replied, an uncharacteristic beam traced across his features. "I think you'd better get back to that wife of yours, though. And my, well, grandaughter."

"Yes, sir."

Once he had replied, Jane didn't bother to watch Minelli leave. Instead, he walked straight back to his wife and child. His new little family. He grinned, but stopped as soon as he saw Lisbon in tears and their daughter still screaming. Jane rushed to her side and gently stroked her cheek, cutting through the tears and pushed a loose strand of dark hair behind her ear.

"I don't know what she wants," Lisbon replied, shakily, "she's refusing to eat and she won't settle and…"

"Hey, hey, calm down." Jane took the baby from her arms, cradling her gently. "We'll work things out, I promise."

"People say it's meant to come naturally."

It turned out that Caitlyn had simply been disturbed by the noise of so many visitors in such a short space of time. Jane quickly, almost expertly, settled her down before returning his attentions to his sobbing wife. Lisbon could handle being in the middle of a shoot out, facing hardened criminals and managed to take down men twice her size, yet she was terrified of a baby. Her baby. Jane placed a chaste kiss on her forehead and allowed her to snuggle into the crook of his arm.

"Don't worry, it will come. We'll learn, it's just a matter of time."

Lisbon and Caitlyn were discharged by the end of the week and Jane couldn't be happier to get them home. There wasn't the white picket fence, not yet anyway, but it was only a matter of time. And at least Lisbon seemed less shaky around Caitlyn, and more willing to be around her on her own. The rest of the team dropped by several times, and each and every time they were more reluctant to leave. At only a five days old, Caitlyn Jane already had five people wrapped around her little finger. That had to be some kind of a record. Jane was slightly concerned, however, that one of those was not her mother.

It was night, their first night home alone, and they were stealing a couple of hours sleep until Caitlyn woke up for her night-time feed. Jane relished in the feeling of having his arm wrapped around a wife and the knowledge that he had a baby sleeping beside them. Five years ago, he would have laughed in the face of anyone if they tried to tell him that he would actually feel this contented again. A now-familiar cry echoed around their bedroom, quickly followed by a groan from Lisbon.

"I'll deal with her," she muttered.

Jane nodded slightly as she evacuated the bed, scooped up the child and left the room. He tried to sleep, really he did, but he always seemed to struggle without her by his side. Lisbon had become reassuringly constant, and Jane had latched onto that. It was only when she had been missing for what felt like an age, though was only realistically about two hours that he grew concerned enough to get up. He stumbled through to their living room, where Caitlyn was snoozing in her carrier. He tore through the house, frantic yet she was nowhere to be found.

Lisbon was already heading out of the state. She just couldn't do this anymore.

**A/N: Is this when I start the evil laughing? x tromana**


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

Jane managed to collect everything together and set off for the CBI headquarters by 7am. Work shouldn't be the most sensible place to start looking for a new mother, but Jane found it the most logical where Lisbon was concerned. Once the baby was settled and was finally sleeping peacefully in her car seat, he left. Naturally, Caitlyn wasn't too bothered that her mother wasn't around; she wasn't old enough to know any different. Not yet, anyway.

The security guard smiled and quickly let Jane through the gates, despite the fact it was relatively early and that he wasn't even meant to be returning for at least another two weeks. The man had a quick grin at the baby, though, and Jane felt that familiar rush of pride course through him. He shook his head. He was here to look for Lisbon, not to play that game again. Within a few minutes, child carrier in hand, he was in the elevator impatiently waiting to hit the third floor. Every minute felt like a lifetime, and like it would make it harder and harder to deduce Lisbon's current location.

Minelli had hired someone on a temporary basis to cover Lisbon's position whilst she was on maternity leave, though he hadn't been given her actual office. No one particularly liked him much, he didn't quite have Lisbon's flair for the job, nor her ability to draw together the team, but he got the job done. Well, the part about the team was a lie, but more often than not it was a case of the team ganging up against him, rather than working for him. He was the only person rattling around the bullpen when Jane finally reached the third floor of the CBI headquarters.

"Jane," sneered Jonathan Howard, "why are you in here? And why have you brought your child?"

"You know, for someone being hired on a temporary basis, you should probably be more grateful that you're working at all," Jane muttered in response. "Where's Minelli?"

"He's not in yet. Why are you here anyway?" Van Pelt replied from behind him whilst slamming her files on her desk. She rushed over to Jane, beaming and crouched down to have a closer look at the baby. "Hello, Caitlyn!"

"Can you look after her for a second?" Jane asked. "She shouldn't be any problem."

Van Pelt was thrilled at the opportunity and took the baby eagerly from Jane. Howard, however, continued scowling at the pair. He still hadn't received an answer from Jane, who had proceeded to run around the office like a headless chicken. He followed Jane calmly once the other man's eyes settled firmly on Lisbon's office and they both strode towards it, with determination, but for very different reasons.

"Jane, I want to know why you're here."

His hand was resting on the handle to Lisbon's office, but Jane quickly let go and spun around to address his temporary boss. Both men seemed equally angry with one another, which in the short while they had worked with one another, wasn't at all unusual. On this occasion, Jane was particularly annoyed because he was being interrupted from his quest, something that never went down well and Howard because Jane simply shouldn't be there. It was not helped by the fact that his newborn daughter was currently distracting Van Pelt from her work. The rookie had already been in for ten minutes and she hadn't even switched on her laptop yet.

"My wife asked me to pick up something from her office," Jane lied. "Now if you don't mind."

Howard stood back and Jane disappeared into the office, ensuring he shut the door tightly behind him and that the blinds were still firmly closed. There was only one difference compared to the last time he had been in here with Lisbon and he noticed it immediately. He stalked over to her desk. Her gun and badge had been neatly placed on top of it, along with a note in recognisable handwriting. Jane swallowed, feeling incredibly nervous as he opened the inoffensive sheet of paper which had been folded neatly and addressed to him.

_I'm sorry. I thought I'd be okay, but I'm not cut out for this. Please don't look for me. _

She had left the note unsigned, but it was obvious who it was from; Jane could recognise his wife's scrawl which vaguely represented handwriting from a mile off. He didn't know whether to be angry, to blame himself or simply to burst into tears. Minelli walked through the door as he started to shake and helped him find a seat. He appreciated the older man's gesture whilst simply wishing that he knew how to react. The letter was carefully extracted from his fingertips and Minelli scanned through the brief words, absorbing the information. Silently, he motioned for Van Pelt, and Cho (who had just arrived) to come closer. After seeking permission from Jane, he read them the note. Van Pelt placed Caitlyn's carrier on the floor and then immediately threw her arms around Jane's shoulders and Cho's eyes widened in shock.

"Did you notice any change in her behaviour, Jane?"

"Well, yes. She was struggling a bit," he started. Minelli raised an eyebrow. "A lot."

"Anything else?"

Realisation dawned and he mentally slapped his forehead. "Post-partum depression. That's the only explanation I can think of. How the hell didn't I notice?"

Van Pelt still had her arms wrapped around him. "You can't blame yourself."

"Yeah, man," Cho added. "You probably just thought she was adjusting to being a mother."

"Go home, Jane," Minelli instructed him. "We'll do what we can to track down Teresa. You're doing yourself and Caitlyn no good here. We'll call you if we make any breakthroughs."

"I should have paid more attention to what she was going through instead of the baby."

"Home, Jane," Minelli replied. "Now."

**TBC...**

**A/N: I really don't like this chapter, and I don't like the direction the next one is going in either. They're both linking chapters as such, before stuff happens again (hooray!).**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **If I stick to my plans, this should be the halfway point. Yay? Oh, and things aren't getting any happier any time soon, I'm afraid... x tromana

**Part Four**

"Good morning, little lady."

"Dada!"

Caitlyn held her arms out to be lifted from her bed by her doting father. He knew he had a habit of wrapping her up in cotton wool, but given his track records with families it was hardly surprising. He could feel the metal of his first wedding ring, cool against his chest and glanced down at the second, still emblazoned on his finger. It was Cait's birthday, and therefore almost two years to the day since his second wife had virtually disappeared off the face of the earth.

His work colleagues had tried their best to find her again. Of course, any research they did was strictly off the books, but they followed each and every shred of a clue with more energy than it was seemingly possible to. Unfortunately, Teresa Lisbon had also been a cop and she knew how to cover her tracks, too. She simply didn't want to be found yet but none of them were willing to give up on her either. Jane appreciated the show of support, anyone else would have given up on her a long while ago and by now, would probably be urging him to start moving on.

They'd only had one clue. One measly clue, but it was a shred of hope for them to cling onto. They had discovered Lisbon's SUV crashed in a ditch just across the borderline in Nevada, and it was obvious that the driver had got away on foot. That revelation, however, was slowly becoming a distant memory, less tangible and entirely useless. It had been so long since they had found it that the trail had inevitably gone cold and was of little use now.

All too quickly, he had to leave his daughter at her childminder's. Minelli, knowing he had to take full responsibility for the child, had been more than willing to allow him to work on a more part-time basis. This allowed him to be there for Caitlyn in her early years far easily than his previous hours would have done. The amount of work he did hadn't changed as he used to spend so long just lazing around on a couch. Luckily, he had plenty of savings to live off of. They were from another life, almost. As he drove to work, his mind naturally wandered onto the subject of his estranged wife. Being apart from her family must have had a detrimental affect on her, even with the depression. How could she heal without being around him and their little girl?

"Jane?"

He had barely realised he had arrived at work. Van Pelt was knocking furiously on his car window and he could see the glint of a ring on her left hand. Jane had known that Rigsby had been planning to propose, the slight shift in his attitude around his girlfriend had been sign of that. Obviously they hadn't thought to inform him for fear of upsetting him. Okay, so the fact that they were getting married exacerbated that dull ache, especially as it had been on his mind recently, but that didn't stop him wanting to be pleased for them.

"Van Pelt," he smiled weakly. "When did Rigsby ask?"

"Oh? Oh!" she smiled shyly in return. She blushed furiously and began fiddling with the ring again. It still felt foreign there, but she was beginning to get used to it now. "We didn't know what to… he asked me a fortnight ago."

"You could have told me."

"But it's been two years since…" she drifted off mournfully.

"I know, but it's also Cait's birthday," he replied. "And that is a good thing."

They wandered into the CBI headquarters together, whilst Van Pelt enthused about the details of Rigsby's proposal and her plans for Cait's birthday party that evening. As they emerged from the elevator, Jane's face fell as he saw someone at a significant office door, painstakingly peeling off letters that had been there for years. He felt slender fingers tighten around his shoulders but he quickly brushed Van Pelt off and stormed in the direction of Minelli's office.

Minelli smiled when he saw Jane at his door. He was looking forward to that evening; it was always a treat to see his granddaughter, after all. And it was her birthday so he was looking forward to thoroughly spoiling her. His face fell as he saw the thunderous expression on Jane's face. Jane didn't speak for a while, just stared at his boss for a few minutes, simply waiting, as if Minelli should be able to discern what was wrong from his demeanour.

"What is it, Jane?"

"What are they doing to Teresa's office?"

Minelli sighed. He had honestly forgotten that he'd asked for the work to be carried out today. It was only fair on Howard, though. He had been boss of the SCU for over two years now and was still technically only on a temporary contract. With no sign of finding Lisbon on the horizon, Minelli had offered him the job full-time. As a friend of the family and surrogate grandfather to her and Jane's child, he had every hope of finding the woman. However, as boss of the CBI, he had to face facts - that it was highly unlikely that they would ever see Teresa Lisbon again.

"It's Jonathan Howard's office now, Jane," Minelli replied. "I'm sorry, but I have to be realistic. Even if we found her tomorrow, I couldn't hire her again immediately. We have no idea what state she'd be in physically or mentally."

"So you're giving up on her?"

"No, no. That's not what I said."

"It's as near as damn it," Jane glared at him. "He can't even do his job properly. Cho's the one who ends up doing everything out on the field. You've hired a pencil pusher, Minelli. That's all."

With that, he stalked out of the room, filled with a tortuous rage. One wife had been taken away from him but he wasn't going to give up on the second that easily. He still had his hope even if it was wearing thin in those surrounding him.

Later that evening, he was perfectly civil to Minelli when he appeared bearing gifts on his doorstep for Caitlyn's birthday party. They, along with Rigsby, Cho and Van Pelt and a few other parents with dribbling toddlers ensured that Cait celebrated her birthday with as much style as a two year old could muster. Both Jane and Minelli particularly felt the absence of a certain dark haired woman that evening, as raw as the day she first disappeared and hoped desperately that she would turn up some day soon. Minelli knew it would take some time for Jane to even begin to calm down over the day's events. He knew that the stubborn consultant would come to terms with the changes eventually, if only for his daughter's sake, it was just a matter of time.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Please don't come after me with pitchforks.... I'm sorry! There's been another jump in time here…

**Part Five**

"Grandpa Minelli!"

It was like a battle cry and the only warning that Virgil Minelli had as a small raven haired girl effectively head butted him in the gut. He was surprised that she hadn't winded him, she was a tough little thing after all, just like her mother had been. He scooped her up and placed her gently on his hip instead while waiting for her father to make a slightly less impressive appearance. Minelli took the moment to allow himself to absorb the little girl's features. Each and every day he saw her, he couldn't believe quite how much she was looking like her absent mother. He simply didn't know how Jane coped with that.

"Caitlyn!"

Jane came bounding round the corner and into Minelli's office. He however, managed not to run into Minelli but did look rather relieved to see his daughter firmly attached to his boss' hip. The four year old held her sticky hands out to her father and Jane took her gently out of Minelli's grasp and held onto her tightly.

"Cait," he breathed. "I've told you that you can't run around here. You might hurt yourself." He turned his attention to Minelli. "I'm sorry, I just came in to fill that form out. You said it couldn't wait."

Minelli chuckled. "It's on my desk. And don't worry about it, it gave me an opportunity to see your delightful little girl again."

His daughter pouted and Jane felt that familiar tug in his heart. If she grew to look much more like Teresa, it might just kill him. Caitlyn Jane was in almost every way a miniature version of her mother. Apart from those eyes. Those hypnotic eyes that drew everybody in. The only reason Jane hadn't tried to teach her how to literally hypnotise someone yet was because he could hear Teresa tutting down his ear despite the fact she wasn't around.

Jane shifted the little girl onto his left hip and filled out the offending piece of paperwork whilst Minelli distracted her with sweets and the stash of toys he had taken to keeping in the office. Minelli didn't just like being a surrogate grandfather to Cait - he relished in it. Straightening and feeling his left arm getting slowly but surely tired, he looked Minelli in the eyes.

"Has there been any…"

Jane didn't even have to finish the question. Every couple of weeks, he repeated the same question only to receive the same answer. A few months ago, they had discovered that a patient using Lisbon's mother's maiden name had been discharged from a mental institution in Nevada, but the trail quickly ran dry. Anyway, they couldn't be sure it was her at all; it could have been a coincidence that someone had shared that name.

"I wish there had been, son. I really do," Minelli replied honestly.

"She will come back."

"I hope so."

"Daddy, why did Mommy run away?" Caitlyn piped up, fed up with having had to be so quiet. "Wasn't I good enough?"

Jane hated it when Caitlyn brought up this conversation. Absolutely hated it. He still couldn't fathom why Lisbon had taken flight, even with depression. The few days they'd had together, as a family, she had been a little stand-offish. He had ran over those moments time and time again, until it almost drove him mad. How could he understand how Teresa Lisbon hadn't wanted to be with their little slice of perfection? And how could he give the little girl something new to cling onto and persuade her that she had done absolutely nothing wrong and she hadn't forced her absent mother away?

After the girl had been placed on the ground, both her father and grandfather tried to placate her. They insisted that she wasn't to blame, that her mother would love her if she met her and that of course she was a good girl. On this occasion, it wasn't enough, and Jane wasn't entirely surprised as the little girl took flight in a sulk. She was after all, his daughter and she had obviously inherited his stubborn moods.

"I have to…"

"I know. Let me know when you've found Cait," Minelli stated.

With a nod, Jane rushed out of his office and into the bullpen. Howard was busy barking at Van Pelt and Rigsby who had been caught out in a lover's tryst and Cho was trying his best to remain inconspicuous. Breathlessly, he asked if any of them had seen his daughter, which only resulted in Howard yelling at him for bringing his daughter into the workplace again in the first place. Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt all promptly ignored their boss in order to help Jane scan the building faster, much to Howard's disgust.

The little girl had somehow made it outside on her own and in her flurry of tears, she didn't notice the petite woman wandering towards her. Somehow, she managed to persuade Caitlyn not to wander further as she knelt down to her height and brushed some hairs out of her eyes. She was uncomfortable with this and not quite sure how to comfort a four year old. Caitlyn instinctively trusted her, however, and they agreed that they would go and find her father while the woman carried her in her arms.

"Caitlyn!"

The woman glanced at the child, slightly horrified and went to place her back on the ground when Jane came running around the corner. Their gazes caught and the pair of them froze and the woman found she couldn't even put Caitlyn down. The first thing she noticed was that he still wore his wedding band too, and she unconsciously began to fiddle with her own, having become very aware of it for the first time in years. Jane looked tired, drained and terribly sad. She could feel the guilt rising in the pit of her stomach as she realised it was her fault he was in such a state.

"Teresa?" he breathed.

The rest of the team made it through the door to see Teresa Lisbon standing there, with her daughter in her arms. Excepting the severe weight loss and the fact her hair was a couple of inches longer than she used to keep it, she looked as if she had never left.

**TBC...**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Though Lisbon probably wouldn't be thinking of herself as 'Lisbon' at this point, I'm going to continue referring to her by her surname, though if she's speaking, she'll refer to the others by their given names. I just want to keep some kind of continuity name-wise throughout the story. x tromana

**Part Six**

"Lisbon!"

"Boss!"

"Teresa…"

"Wayne, I'm not your…"

It took a while for Lisbon to remember that she still had hold of Cait. Once she came to her senses in that regard, she placed her squirming daughter onto the floor. The little girl immediately rushed to her father, who scooped her up. Caitlyn, however, was entirely nonplussed by the situation she was stuck in the middle of. Pushing past Jane, an excitable Wayne Rigsby beamed and enveloped Lisbon into a tight hug. Flustered, she eventually managed to persuade him to let go but he continued to smile goofily at her. Van Pelt continually glanced between the two of them and even Cho managed to look faintly surprised.

Lisbon hadn't been entirely sure why she had decided to head straight to the CBI when she had arrived back in Sacramento. She had hoped that the Serious Crimes Unit would be out on a case so she could visit Minelli and just slip in and out, virtually unnoticed. The intention wasn't to get her job back, that would be too presumptuous and she knew the position would have been long filled by now. Anyway, Lisbon sincerely doubted whether or not she'd be able to do it now. It was merely to apologise to Minelli for running out on him in the first place and ask him where she could find Jane.

Well, at least she'd found Jane, though not on her own terms. She started trembling slightly. For some reason, Lisbon didn't feel ready for this again, mainly because she had hoped to organise their reunion differently, where they were both prepared to meet with one another rather than out of the blue. The four years she had been absent had gone like a flash, yet at the same time were terribly long. She definitely wasn't the same woman he had married. But then again, she could be fairly certain that he had changed too. After all, she had left him to bring up their daughter. Alone.

"Er, we could take Cait if you guys want to talk?" Van Pelt suggested.

"Yeah, I'm sure you could use one of the interrogation rooms for privacy," Rigsby added.

Cho knew just how much Howard would disapprove of it, but didn't care to vocalise that opinion. It wasn't as if they had a case on right now, and besides he was just as pleased as the others to see the petite brunette standing in front of them, even if she was looking slightly bewildered. Instead, he took the little girl from Jane's arms and suggested that the team headed towards Minelli's office, where he knew that some toys for Caitlyn were permanently stashed. Rigsby made it his mission to distract Howard for as long as physically possible. Discussing cold cases in great depth wasn't something he enjoyed doing particularly, but it was worth it if it would buy Jane more time with his wife.

"You look good," Jane murmured as the others left and they walked to the third floor. "Really good, I mean."

Lisbon made a non-committal noise as she took in her surroundings. Nothing had changed. Okay, so computers had been updated and the odd different poster was on the wall but otherwise, nothing. It surprised her somewhat that the team was still together too; shehad thought that Cho would have moved on by now, into a far more senior position. While Jane walked her to the interrogation room, she became more and more worried that an interrogation was what their discussion would become and desperately hoped for some kind of distraction. Have them all sent out on a case or the building burning down. Just something to avoid the inevitable confrontation they were about to have. Instead, the door clicked shut behind her and they were alone.

"Sit down, Teresa. Please?" Jane asked plaintively.

The sorrow in his voice made her comply more or less immediately.

"I've missed you," he whispered, wishing she would actually make the effort to speak. "Where the hell have you been? Damn it, Teresa, I need to know."

"A hospital in Nevada, alright?" she finally snapped. "I had a breakdown. You happy now?"

_Two weeks after Caitlyn's birth:_

"_So you just found her wandering the streets?"_

_The elderly gentleman nodded to the hospital staff and police officers questioning him for what felt like the thousandth time. The poor woman looked sick, slightly mad and it had been obvious she had been bleeding. The bruise on her head and the fact her clothes were filthy hadn't helped either. He had simply done what any good citizen would have done and taken her to the nearest hospital. She was promptly sedated upon arrival and he was questioned as if _he_ was in the wrong._

"_Do you even know her name?"_

_"No. I don't even know where she lives, Ma'am," he replied, tiredly._

_They nodded and eventually let him go. It was obvious he knew nothing about their newest little mystery. After all, he couldn't even work out that she had had a child within the past month. In the following weeks, in one of her more lucid moments, she supplied a name: Elisabeth Mae McDonnell. Only problem was, the only Elisabeth McDonnell they could find on the systems had been dead for over quarter of a century. It wasn't long until they realised that a general hospital didn't suit 'Elisabeth's' needs and she had to be transferred to a specialist unit for mental disorders._

"No, not really," he glowered. "Why did it take you four years to come back?"

"Is this an interrogation, Patrick?"

"No," he sighed. "I'm just angry."

"I'm sorry."

He could tell she meant it, but he couldn't help snapping. "And that's meant to make everything better, is it?"

"I know it won't," she replied hotly, "but I couldn't help it. I wasn't thinking straight. I'm surprised that you didn't notice."

"I did," he retorted, "eventually," he added, in a murmur.

For a good five minutes, they simply glared at one another, having found themselves at a stalemate. It was all too easy to say that they blamed one another, when really they were both blaming themselves for the predicament they found themselves in. Eventually, Jane stood up and walked around the table while Lisbon watched on apprehensively. His arms were soon wrapped around her shoulders and his fingers dancing through her hair. Jane couldn't help but smile as she visibly relaxed. His head found its way into the crook of her neck and he inhaled the scent. She still used cinnamon shampoo and he appreciated the strange familiarity.

"I've really missed you," he eventually spoke. "I knew you'd come back."

"I'm sor-"

She got cut off by Caitlyn running into the interrogation room and hiding behind Jane. The little girl looked up adoringly at her father, a beatific smile on her face and whispered something about 'crocodiles eating her' before bursting into laughter. Lisbon watched the two carefully, wondering exactly what it was she had missed and if she could ever feel anything other than apathy for the girl. Jane ushered her towards Lisbon in a flurry of giggles. He couldn't help but smile as his daughter looked up at him in a confused manner.

"Cait, honey," he murmured, "this is your Mommy."

"Patrick, please…"

Caitlyn's eyes widened, not quite sure what to think. Lisbon's whole demeanour, however, shifted back into sheer terror. In a flash, she was scrambling out of the chair and up to the door and pulling roughly on it.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "Just… I can't. Not now."

**TBC...**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I think there'll be about 3 chapters left of this. This was going to be the penultimate one but then the plot bunny decided to throw me a curveball, which was nice of it. Thank you as always to those of you who have been kind enough to review. It's like a little drop of happiness in my inbox. x tromana

**Part Seven**

She ran as fast as her feet could carry her, thoroughly relieved that her doctors had encouraged her to regain her fitness during her stint in hospital. What Lisbon didn't expect was Wayne Rigsby walking in the other direction, away from the man who was obviously his new boss. Well, the ranting and swearing from Howard gave away a lot of things. Obviously, the man had become fed up with her eating up the time of his agents and wanted her out. Good thing she wanted out too, really.

"Boss," Rigsby grinned, ignoring her protestation. "Where are you off to?"

"I… er…"

"You weren't going to run off again, were you?"

Lisbon nodded, shame-faced and Rigsby placed a hand gently onto her shoulder. He announced quickly to Howard that he would be taking his lunch early and guided Lisbon towards the elevator, giving her no option but to go with him. He knew that he was incurring the wrath of his current boss, but he was hoping that now Lisbon was back, Jonathan Howard would be leaving soon. The thought of the team being back together again and getting rid of that ineffectual man made him smile broadly.

"Don't worry, I'll pay," he assured her.

"And you'll make sure that I don't disappear again," she replied, raising an eyebrow.

"That too."

Rigsby took her to a café that had opened approximately a year ago and had quickly become a firm favourite with the unit. Lisbon looked tentative as he led her to a table and remained quiet whilst they ordered. He urged her to talk about nothing in particular over the meal, but given the fact it had been four years since they had last had a conversation, it was hard to find a common ground. As she placed her cutlery neatly together, he steeled himself. He didn't expect that he'd be the one having this conversation with her. To be honest, he'd thought it would be Grace, or Jane himself.

"It's good to have you back, Lisbon."

"Teresa," she corrected him.

"If you don't let me call you Lisbon, I'll start calling you 'boss' again."

Lisbon glared at him, and surprised herself at how naturally that old reaction came back to her. Still, it was better him referring to her by her surname than calling her by a long-defunct title.

"Caitlyn's a good kid," Rigsby suddenly announced. "Stubborn as hell, but a good kid."

"Wayne, I…"

"She blames herself, you know. For you disappearing."

"I know," she murmured. "There are times, I wish I'd had the guts to stay. I know what it's like growing up motherless, and I inflicted that same punishment on her."

Rigsby shrugged his shoulders as he observed her. "You were sick," he stated. "Weren't you?"

Lisbon nodded in response, and went to answer. He held up a hand, not wanting to know the details, immediately silencing her.

"Don't blame yourself, I just think you should give her a chance."

"I'll… try."

"Good, and one more thing. Grace and I are getting married this Saturday and we'd love it if you could attend."

He positively beamed as she confirmed that she would be there. After paying, he took Lisbon by the hand and he led her back to the CBI headquarters, informing her that Minelli was looking forward to seeing her again. And that he would no doubt be more than willing to give Jane a few more days off work so that they could become reacquainted. Rigsby's suppositions were right. Minelli had immediately told Lisbon to cancel her hotel bookings as his spare room was hers for as long as she needed it and practically begged her not to go AWOL again. Minelli soon dismissed everyone present, after informing them he was fairly certain Jane was still in the interrogation room with Cait.

"Will you come-" Van Pelt started.

"I've already asked her," Rigsby interjected, beaming.

"Yes, Grace," Lisbon muttered, eyes trained on the floor. "And congratulations."

When they opened the door to the interrogation room, a little girl came flying out and immediately wrapped her arms around Lisbon. Nervously, Lisbon peeled herself away from her daughter and Van Pelt picked her up instead, informing them that she would make sure the girl was fed and kept entertained for a while. Cho smiled slightly and said he would be more than willing to help out the younger agent.

"If you like, we can keep an eye on her here and bring her home at six-ish?"

Jane nodded in gratitude at Van Pelt's kind offer. The woman was getting married in a couple of days time and didn't really need the stress of looking after a child eating up precious wedding-preparation time. Cait did love spending time with 'Auntie' Grace though, and was looking forward to being her flower girl on Saturday. He glanced over at his wife, wishing desperately to see the same woman he fell in love with rather than the shadow of her former self she seemed to have become. When he caught her gaze and her mouth quirked slightly into a smile, his heart leapt. She was still in there, somewhere. Jane held out a hand and she took it.

They walked, heading in no particular direction. Neither felt any need to talk, just relishing in the fact that they were in one another's company, and enjoying the concept of being husband and wife once more. Jane stopped. However much he was enjoying Lisbon's company, however much he was aching to spend every waking moment with her, it was wrong. There was someone more important to be thinking about.

"What's wrong?" Lisbon whispered, breaking the silence.

"I'm sorry, Teresa, but I can't just let you back into our lives that easily. She's a child, she needs stability. And she's been grieving for her goddamn mother all her life." Jane took a deep breath. "You may be her biological Mom, but I can't let you break her heart again. Or mine."

**TBC...**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: Shout out to PhoenixWytch for being the 50th reviewer! And thank you to _everyone_ who has left a review, it means a lot to me. x tromana

**Part Eight**

Lisbon cast her eyes to the floor. She had been well for the past year; medication had successfully kept the depression at bay and she had been urged by several professionals to get her life back on track. Shame had been what had kept her away for so long, though. It embarrassed her that she had been unable to stay and support her daughter when she needed her most. It didn't help that she had left a man who had only just begun healing after the death of his first wife. She knew she should have expected Jane's sudden outburst, but she didn't appreciate being constantly reminded of her flaws. She had been a police officer; she was well aware that someone disappearing was often harder to get over than a bereavement.

"It was the not knowing that was worst," Jane added. "You could have been anywhere."

"I know, I know. I wish I knew what I could say to make things better," she whispered. "But I know it's not as simple as that."

"Teresa, look at me." He bent down to her level, gently cupping her chin with his hand. "Teresa, please?"

She pulled her gaze upwards and begrudgingly stared him in the eyes. His expression softened immediately when her mouth twitched into a smile and Jane couldn't help but beam in response. Removing his hand from her face, he wrapped both arms tightly around her back instead. After a couple of seconds, she relaxed into his touch and half a minute later, he released her, still smiling.

"I don't want to lose you again," she whispered, honestly.

"I think we should take things slowly."

Lisbon nodded. He was right, it wasn't fair on him or Caitlyn if they just jumped into their relationship where they left off. Caitlyn didn't know anything about her besides what Jane had told her, and their 'trust issues' had naturally returned. Anyway, they didn't even know if they loved the people they were now instead of just the memories they had of one another. Meeting each other virtually daily, and her staying over during the weekends was a compromise. If things went wrong, Jane would be able to cope with the damage limitations with Caitlyn, but they both knew they wanted to fight for this. Neither wanted to suffer a broken heart again.

After dropping Lisbon off at Virgil Minelli's surprisingly spacious apartment, he drove home. Van Pelt and Cait were already waiting there for him and Jane suddenly realised just how long he had spent with Lisbon. He cursed himself; he should have been keeping an eye on the time. It had been nice, talking to her though. A week ago, a day ago even, that would have been a distant hope, a dream that was become less tangible by the day. He walked to his front door, grinned at Grace and quickly took his daughter from her arms.

"Did she behave herself?"

"Oh yeah, she was good as gold."

"Auntie Grace brought me ice cream!"

"Not too much, I hope," he murmured and stroked her nose gently. "Thank you, Grace. You needn't have."

"Yes, I did," she replied firmly. "Did you manage to work anything out?"

Jane nodded and invited her in for a quick cup of tea. Grace shook her head, announcing that she had to pick her wedding gown up from the dressmakers. The final fitting had been two days ago and a minor alteration had had to be made. With a wave and copious farewells, she left. Placing Caitlyn on the ground, he let them in. The four year old was already getting tired and Jane knew that he had to explain more about Lisbon before she went to bed.

An hour later, after a bath and a cup of warm milk, she went to bed surprisingly willingly. Usually, she caused some sort of fuss, but a lot had happened during the day. It wasn't every day your absent mother appeared from out of the blue, after all. Instead of being told a fabricated bedtime story, filled with Californian princesses, English princes and plenty of ponies, Jane explained to the little girl about her mother in more depth than he ever had done before. That he had met her through work, and how poorly she had been when Cait was born. Most importantly, that now that she was back, she wanted to get to know her and would be visiting regularly. Jane didn't impart his hopes about her one day moving back in with them, because that was all they were. Hopes.

***

Saturday morning arrived all too quickly. Jane had dressed his little girl in the dress that Van Pelt had brought over for her a month ago. None of them knew just how long it would stay clean, but she looked adorable, in his completely unbiased opinion. As he strapped her into her car seat, she was chattering away excitably about Grace's wedding and seeing her Mommy again. The drive to Minelli's was uneventful. When they pulled up, the older man was already standing by the door, tapping his foot, obviously waiting for Lisbon. As Jane pulled to a halt, he walked up to the car and immediately opened the door to greet Caitlyn.

"Hello, gorgeous," Minelli cooed at Caitlyn, before surreptitiously handing her a lollipop.

"Thank you, Grandpa!"

"Where's Teresa?" Jane whispered, concerned.

"On her way down," Minelli confirmed. "She's nervous. She wants to impress you, I believe."

The click of high heels on concrete indicated that she had joined them. Jane turned to devour her appearance, immediately noting the tell-tale nervous glances away. She needn't have been so concerned; the dress she wore suited her perfectly and she looked as beautiful as he always thought she did. Stepping closer to her, he took hold of her hands and rubbed his fingers along her knuckles gently. Lisbon was very tense, and that disconcerted him somewhat. She may have only returned four days ago, but he thought that they had been making some headway, though realistically he knew it was a little too soon to tell.

"You look beautiful," he breathed. She went to deny it, but he cut her off. "No, don't. You do. You might upstage Grace."

"Now you're just being ridiculous."

They were soon sitting in a small chapel for Van Pelt and Rigsby's union. As Grace sobbed through her wedding vows, Jane's left hand travelled across Lisbon's leg to squeeze hold of her fingers tightly. Jane had been surprised at just how big and close Van Pelt's family was, but that was partially because he hadn't been exposed to a family like that for so long. Once she had walked down the aisle and joined the rest of the congregation, Caitlyn was entertained by Minelli, having become disinterested in her mother, father and the wedding.

The ceremony was soon over, and Caitlyn was growing increasingly irritable and bored. The concept of having your photograph taken over and over was lost on the little girl, and she was soon tugging on her father's arm, begging to go to the park. As Jane had expected, her dress was already a mess, not helped by her grandfather's treat earlier. As Caitlyn cajoled him, Lisbon hung back apprehensively, choosing to speak to Minelli instead. From what he could gather, something about a CBI job.

"Shh, not now, Cait," he murmured. "Mommy and I will take you tomorrow, okay?"

"Not tomorrow, now," she whined.

"Cait, I promise you, we will go tomorrow."

She narrowed her eyes and looked the spitting image of her mother when she was angry. She wrestled her hand away from her father's and continued glaring contemptuously.

"I hate you."

"Caitlyn…"

Before anyone had a chance to stop her, she took off running straight towards the road. Normally, it was fairly quiet, but at that very moment a truck had decided to turn into the street. Despite the fact that there was a whole wedding congregation present, it appeared that no one would get there in time to stop the inevitable collision.

**TBC...**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Penultimate chapter! I didn't want to leave you on that cliffhanger for too long. I'm not that cruel. Or am I? I don't know. x tromana

**Part Nine**

She had seen it out of the corner of her eye. Without even bothering to excuse herself from the conversation with Minelli she flew out to the road and scooped Caitlyn out of danger without a second to spare. Both crashed down into the gravelled pathway leading up to the church and Lisbon felt like her heart was going to tear itself out from her chest. Scrambling to a kneeling position, she placed her daughter onto her feet before clutching her close and refusing to let go. Caitlyn had burst into tears and threw her arms around Lisbon's neck, and for the first time ever, she found it a welcome relief.

"Don't ever do that to me again," Lisbon whispered as Jane approached them. "You scared me then."

Standing up and lifting the little girl with her, Lisbon winced as she attempted to put weight on her right ankle. Jane tried to take Caitlyn away from Lisbon, but the girl stubbornly refused to let go. All eyes were trained on them and everyone had fallen into a deathly silence. Van Pelt let go of Rigsby's hand quickly and approached tentatively.

"She's okay," Lisbon breathed. "We're okay."

"Oh thank God," Van Pelt murmured. "Thank God."

"You're not," Jane replied. "You both need checking over."

Lisbon laughed shakily. "Yeah, perhaps she does. I'm sorry, Grace."

"Not a dull moment with you around, boss," Van Pelt smiled, ignoring the outraged look on Lisbon's face. "Get yourselves sorted out."

Lisbon nodded and apologised to the couple for 'ruining' their day. Both laughed it off and asked to be kept updated on what was happening. It had, after all, been a very close shave. She had to limp to Jane's car, her daughter not even willing to relinquish hold for the relative safety of her father's arms. It took Lisbon a good five minutes of soothing talking to persuade Caitlyn to sit in her car seat.

"Here." Jane was holding out his jacket. Lisbon frowned and he elaborated, "your dress took a bit of a beating."

"Oh, yeah," she muttered in response. "I didn't notice. Thank you.""No, thank you Teresa. You saved her life."

"Well, she is _our_ daughter."

For the first time in an age, Jane ignored his desperate urge to speak. Lisbon's demeanour around Caitlyn had changed entirely within the ten minutes. Instead, they sat in the car in relative silence as Jane drove them to the hospital. Once they arrived, Caitlyn refused the open arms of her father and burst into tears at the idea of anyone other than Lisbon holding her.

"Are you sure you're okay with that?"

"Of course I am, there's no need to be so smothering," Lisbon snapped in response.

"How is your ankle?"

"Painful," she admitted.

It turned out that Lisbon had broken her ankle in her heroics, something she immediately took into her stride. She had broken several bones, been shot and received countless other injuries in the past so it was only another addition to a long list. Caitlyn, mercifully, was fine aside from a few cuts and bruises, and a little bit of shock. Jane breathed a sigh of relief as he strapped her into the car, fast asleep after both mother and daughter had received their treatments. It had long since gone past midnight and he made a mental note to update Minelli, Cho and Rigsby in the morning.

"Are you sure you want to stay…"

"Yes, Patrick."

"A lot has happened today, though."

"I'm sure. Stop worrying."

"I could have lost you both today."

The car pulled to halt as Jane parked in his allotted space at the apartment complex. As he went to speak, she placed a finger gently on his mouth, threaded a hand around the back of his neck and tentatively pressed her lips to his. It took Jane a few seconds to realise what was going on, but eventually he was kissing her back, keeping it soft, gentle and sensual. Though they had been happy to share cuddles and the odd gentle touch, neither had been willing to be so forthcoming since her return. As they parted, Lisbon smiled and Jane snatched a quick peck against her forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't," Jane murmured. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

Lisbon frowned, but didn't have the energy to fight back. She quietly accepted the crutches she had been supplied with back at the hospital before Jane opened the back door of the vehicle and picked up the sleeping Caitlyn. The little girl stirred as they made it back into the apartment and with some difficulty, Lisbon and Jane eventually managed to settle her for the night. Having decided that they were not yet tired, Lisbon and Jane found themselves curled up on the couch, each with a steaming cup of tea in hand.

"Teresa?"

"Patrick?"

"You seem less nervous around Cait since this afternoon."

"I know," she broke out into a weak smile. "Just four years too late."

"Better late than never."

He encouraged her to sit closer and he quickly wrapped an affectionate arm around her shoulders. They fell back into silence again, only interrupted by the occasional car roaring past outside.

"Patrick? Is parenthood always this scary?" she asked nervously.

"Oh yes."

He placed his teacup on the arm of the couch and stroked some hairs out of her eyes.

"Okay."

He smiled as she snuggled down further, quite content. He was about to state that she could take the master bedroom for the night and he'd be happy with the couch but suddenly didn't have the heart to disturb the peace. Eventually, Lisbon fell asleep in his embrace and Jane pulled the throw on top of them. He glanced at the digital clock, blazing the time at him; it was already gone 3am. Caitlyn would be up in a few hours. This wasn't quite how he planned to spend the night, but if she was comfortable than so was he. Besides, he was happy. Despite the accident, it looked like he could be hopeful that one day, they would be a family again.

**TBC...**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**: I can't believe I've already finished this. Strange mix of relief, happiness and sadness. I've absolutely loved writing this and hope you've enjoyed reading it, too.

In no particular order, I'd like to thank: Penelope Louise, WildDaisies10, mwalter1, Ebony10, corzalaura, PhoenixWytch, angelofrock1989, Madaboutthementalist, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, SpaceAnJL, kathiann, AlternativeRocker, yasminbanu786, Americanchick, JelloFanatic123, BottleOfStars, Habeous Corpus, dizzy - in - the - izzy, lil smiles, and Viktorija for leaving reviews, general encouragement and telling me off when I torture characters.

Hopefully, this last part is up to scratch and brings the story to a suitable closure for you.

x tromana

**Part Ten**

_A Year Later_

Lisbon couldn't help but smile as she pulled into the parking lot of Jane's apartment. She'd just helped to close yet another case with Narcotics, and truth be told, she would be sad to say goodbye to them. They'd helped her regain her confidence as a cop, remind her just how good she was at her job before everything that had happened in recent years. And they had adored having the formidable, albeit emotionally bruised and battered Agent Lisbon on their team. But Minelli, as usual, had given her an offer she just couldn't refuse. He didn't give her the whole details, but it was something to do with SCU staging a strike if she didn't get reassigned to them. Their determination to get the five of them working together again had been sweet, so she simply couldn't deny them that. It also helped that serious crimes was what she had lived for and she had missed dealing with the most complex cases that California could throw at her.

That didn't mean the past year had been easy, goodness no. With Caitlyn she felt like she had been going two steps forward, one step back. The girl was her own person and initially hadn't been willing to see Lisbon as an authority figure, never mind someone who could reprimand her when she misbehaved. Every gentle cuddle could easily become a slap in the face if Cait suddenly decided that Lisbon wasn't worthy and she found herself envious of the closeness Jane shared with her. But it was her fault, sort of. Maybe. Who could she blame for becoming so ill? She could barely remember the first year of her disappearance and only had scant memories of the second, too. That might have had something to do with spending so long under sedation due to having apparently been violent though. She'd been later informed of the car crash and how she had been insistent that people referred to her by her mother's maiden name.

And Jane. She knew, deep down, that she still loved him. Both as he was now and what he once was. That was a comfort, yet at the same time completely terrifying. At times, he became overprotective which whilst sweet, could become smothering. Like the morning after Grace and Wayne's wedding, when he was still asleep and she had woken up early to a daughter demanding breakfast. Half an hour later, she caught him tearing through the house, paranoid that she had left for a second time. Really, she had no idea just how he kept things together. He'd tried to explain once. About how he'd lived with thoughts of vengeance in his head for so long that nothing could be as bad as that, especially now that he was a father again. Lisbon hadn't quite believed him but soon learned she wasn't going to get anything else as an answer.

The arguments they suffered through were considerably worse than any before her disappearance. Anything seemed to be able to trigger one, her over-spoiling Caitlyn, her complete lack of memories from the time she had been away, who was driving, anything. At times, both of them seriously believed it could be over between them. He would return home to Caitlyn, sullen and surly, where even the charms of his daughter failed to cheer him up. She would silently cry herself to sleep, so as not to disturb Minelli. Her throat hoarse from the screaming matches and heart aching for the whole sorry situation to be different. Thankfully, as the months progressed, Lisbon noticed that they seemed to lessen in frequency as well as intensity.

As she walked into the apartment, she soon found a little girl wrapped around her legs. It had amazed her just how much Caitlyn had grown in one year, but it was becoming obvious that she was always going to be petite like her mother. Lisbon lifted her up, with many complaints from Caitlyn, and kissed her gently on the forehead. Something smelled good in the kitchen; Jane was obviously already preparing dinner. She knocked on the kitchen door and he spun around to see his two favourite girls standing in the threshold.

"Teresa, you're early."

"I'm sorry, should I go and come back later then?"

He laughed. "That won't be necessary."

Caitlyn was placed on the floor, and somehow a bar of candy had appeared in her hands. She ran off, delighted, leaving her parents alone in the kitchen. Jane wrapped an arm around Lisbon's waist and pulled her in closely. He pressed a soft, gentle kiss on her lips and then on her forehead before releasing her from his grip. He always looked forward to Fridays now because he had his wife at home for the weekend. For a few days he could pretend they were a proper family who didn't have problems to the same magnitude as they seemed to.

"How was work?"

"Oh, alright. Another case closed," Lisbon shrugged. "And an interesting talk with Minelli."

"Oh?"

"It seems I'm being reassigned," she answered. "If I wasn't, he'd have a problem with the entirety of the Serious Crimes Unit. They were threatening to stage a strike until I was, apparently. Something to do with them not being able to stand their current boss and wanting their old one back."

"I can't for the life of me think why," Jane replied, struggling to keep a straight face.

"You knew! Anyway, I don't know why Cho didn't take the position. He's more than qualified to be a senior agent by now."

"Cho's comfortable where he is, he's earning enough for a stable life and doesn't crave any more responsibility," he responded. "And you, you're doubting yourself. Don't. You can do this and that is why we want you back."

"Nothing to do with hating Howard then?"

"It has everything to do with hating Howard, too."

"He's a good man, Patrick."

"He'll be happier with Narcotics."

Dinner was relatively quiet. Lisbon and Jane avoided talking about work in front of Caitlyn. Their work was confidential, they didn't know what secrets could be leaked by a bubbly five year old, talking to friends as she played. For the rest of the night, they stuck to their normal routine, clearing after dinner, wrestling Cait into bed before snuggling on the couch with a good movie and a bottle of wine. Jane sighed contentedly and used the hand which wasn't draped around Lisbon's shoulders to push some stray hairs behind her ear. She glanced up at him, with an unreadable expression written across her features.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do this anymore."

"What? But I thought…"

She laughed at him gently. "No, I can't be a weekend Mom and part-time girlfriend anymore. It's driving me mad. I want to be your wife proper again. That's what this signifies, right?"

She held up her left hand, indicating to the gold band adorning her finger. Jane couldn't help but laugh with her at his misjudgement. Though he'd never admit it to her, she had always been something of a blind spot when it came to his abilities. Yes, of course he could read her, just not as well as everyone else. Lisbon kept him on his toes and terribly threw him off guard from time to time.

"Good. Great. When can you move in then?"

end


End file.
